


Day 17: Body Worship

by Miss_Mystery_xo



Series: Kinktober 2020 [14]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood, Body Worship, Chubby Reader, Crying, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27381475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Mystery_xo/pseuds/Miss_Mystery_xo
Summary: Asahi comes home to find you in a broken state. So, he does what he does best. He puts you back together again piece by loving piece.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Reader
Series: Kinktober 2020 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945876
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	Day 17: Body Worship

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was a prompt for kinktober, but it's 2 am and for some reason, it's soft hours and this is what my brain produced. I mean, not all kinks are wild. Some are nice and soft like this one. Anyway, please enjoy!

When you hear the front door open and close, you frantically wipe your face in an attempt to get rid of your tears. Every time you wipe you see more come to distort your vision and end up shedding more in frustration. Asahi furrows his brow in confusion as he hears your soft sobs echo in your quiet apartment.

The bedroom door opens and you wince as the light from the hallway shines into the pitch-black room. You thought you’d had more time before Asahi would be home. The light flicks on to reveal you sitting on the bed. Asahi’s eyes trail down to your hands, his breath going shallow at the sight before him.

There’s a razor blade in your right hand and blood drips from your fingertips. There are fresh wounds on your thighs, new lines oozing over old scars. He walks over to the bed slowly, hands raised so he doesn’t startle you. 

“Y/n. Can you give me the razor blade, please?”

Your vision is blurry as fresh tears roll down your cheeks. Even through tears, you can see your hands shaking, shame overwhelming you. It makes it much worse as Asahi caught you cutting with one of  _ his _ razor blades.

“Sweetie, look at me.”

You look into his soft and kind brown eyes, patiently waiting. He smiles as he takes the razor blade from you.

“Stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

You whimper, panic turning the blood in your veins to ice.

“It’s okay. I’m going to the bathroom right across the hall. Okay?”

You nod and watch as he goes to the bathroom, leaving the door open to ease your anxiety. Asahi comes back with a warm wet rag and the first aid kit.

“Can I sit on the bed with you?”

“ - yeah.”

Your voice sounds strained when you speak. Asahi smiles as he climbs onto the bed sitting cross-legged in front of you.

“Let’s start with cleaning off your hands.”

Asahi takes your hands and gently wipes them clean of blood. Every few seconds, your eyes flick to look up at his face and only see gentleness and patience. After all this time, you still wait for him to be angry and fed up with you, but it never comes. He’s focused on cleaning your hands so he doesn’t catch you staring. When he finishes your hands he looks up into your eyes.

“Can I clean off your legs? Just the area around your wounds.”

“Mhm.”

His hand wraps around your ankle to pull your leg into his lap. You flinch at the pain but make no sound. As Asahi wipes toe blood away, he can see how many new wounds you’ve inflicted upon yourself. His heart aches but he makes sure to not make any change to his facial expression, knowing you’re watching intently. The silence is starting to get to you as Asahi finishes wiping up the excess blood.

“...Asahi.”

“Yes?”

The gentleness of his voice makes your guilt consume you. You burst into tears again, frantically wiping them away.

“Calm down, sweetie. Lemme patch you up and then we can talk. Okay?”

“O-Okay.”

You can barely answer him through your hiccuping and sob. Asahi is methodical as he cleans your wounds, applies an antibiotic, and tapes gauze pads over the area. He packs up the first aid kit and takes it and the blood-soaked rag to the bathroom.

You watch as he comes up beside the bed, moving to kneel on the floor. You take his hand in both of yours, desperation shining in your eyes. Asahi smiles at you softly.

“What do you want me to do, y/n?”

“S-Sit with me? Hold me?”

“Of course.”

You pull Asahi onto the bed, letting him settle against the mass of pillows against the headboard. As soon as he’s comfortable, you crawl into his lap, your back to his front. You get comfortable as you feel yourself finally start to calm down, your tears subsiding slightly.

“Do you wanna talk?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You know you don’t have to apologize to me, y/n.”

“I still apologize. I… didn’t know you would be home so soon.”

The thought of him not coming home when he did and you injuring yourself more distresses him. His hands smooth down your arms, lightly grazing over the old scars on your forearms and wrists. He stops at the one scar on you that hurts you both the most. It was one from when you two had just started dating and you’d had a genuine attempt at suicide.

Asahi caught you and were able to get you medical help. It was the most painful scar physically, mentally, and emotionally, but it is also the most hopeful. Over the line, you’d gotten a tattoo of his heartbeat; he’d gotten a tattoo of yours in return. The reasoning behind you getting his heartbeat tattoo was that ‘if you can’t live for yourself, can you live for me?’

“Y/n, did you hear me?”

“No, sorry.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“Oh. Um… I’d read a comment on Instagram about me -  _ my body  _ \- that kinda set me off.”

“Comment?”

“Yeah. Someone said… I was too fat for the outfit I was wearing. It was one you designed.”

Asahi lace your hands together, rubbing his thumbs on the back of yours.

“I just felt  _ really _ ugly. I’m sorry.”

You flinch as you feel his goatee tickle your neck.

“Then can I tell you how beautiful you are?”

You know your voice will crack if you speak, too full of emotion as it has many times before. So, you nod and lean back more into his embrace.

“You’re  _ so _ beautiful, y/n. Inside and out.”

He takes your laced hands and starts at your thighs, wary of your gauze. They move up your legs to your hips, squeezing lightly with affection as he does.

“If we could, I’d want to stay like this all day with you sitting in my lap with these lovely legs of yours.”

_ Damn; more tears. _ Your hands move to your belly, resting there.

“Your stretch marks are beautiful. As much as you despise them they represent growth and maturity.”

“Asahi-”

“Shh, I’m almost done.”

Your hands rest over your breasts, making you blush.

“Beneath here is a heart so gorgeous and pure I can’t help but love it and want love in return. I can’t help but love  _ you _ .”

Your heart thunders against your ribcage, embarrassingly loud. Finally, his hands release yours so he can cup your face gingerly, turning your face so he can look at you.

“And your face. No matter how many tears or how bad of a runny nose, you  _ are stunning. _ ”

Your resolve crumbles and the dam breaks, a fresh torrent of tears coming forth. You brokenly sob as Asahi kisses away your tears as quickly as they come.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Asahi shushes you, pecking your lips lightly with swift butterfly kisses.

“I-I love you, Asahi.”

“I love you too, y/n.”

Asahi embraces you as you cry, kissing away your tears now and then. Eventually, you fall asleep in his embrace, surrounded by his warmth and his love.


End file.
